In brief
The first days of preschool can be daunting for young children, often leading to separation anxiety. Experts suggest gradual exposure, routine-building, and teaching children to manage their fears. Creating supportive environments and utilizing small comfort items can help kids navigate the anxiety associated with leaving their caregivers. If anxiety persists, seeking professional advice is crucial.
On her first full day of preschool, Alexander Lane’s 3-year-old daughter stayed in the car for an hour at drop-off because she didn’t want to go inside. On the second day, she entered class in tears.
But by the third day, she eagerly ran into the classroom.
Starting preschool or kindergarten is important but can be a source of anxiety for young children who are beginning to spend extended periods away from parents or guardians.
Lane was aware of his daughter’s hesitance and chose to let her acclimatize before her preschool start.
“It’s not productive to tell someone, ‘You’ll just enjoy this if you push through,’” Lane said passionately.
Separation anxiety is a common occurrence among young children as they adjust to new settings. Experts, like Erica Lee from Boston Children's Hospital, emphasize that such anxiety is a normal part of growing up.
“As we start a new school year, we can expect some anxiety as routines change,” she noted.
If anxiety becomes severe or prolonged, it can hinder daily activities and may require professional assistance.
Teaching Resilience to Kids and Their Parents
In almost two decades of work with preschoolers, Kimberly Skukalek has noticed many children struggling with separation anxiety each year. She focuses on making school a safe, friendly environment.
“Some parents are even more frightened than their kids about school,” she explained.
Allowing children to avoid school amplifies their fears over time, as highlighted by psychologist Izabela Milaniak. It’s essential to encourage bravery in children to build resilience and confidence.
The team of experts works with parents to validate their child’s emotions while establishing boundaries. This approach helps children develop coping mechanisms essential for their growth.
When Patrick Edmondson's 3-year-old son, Miles, started preschool in 2023, the entire family felt anxiety. To support their son, they instilled confidence in him, involving him in school preparations and providing comfort objects for security.
Now, Miles rides the school bus and enjoys his experience.
Gradual Exposure Can Ease Transitions
As Erica Lee advises, start with brief separations to build a child’s comfort level with independence. Gradually increasing the time apart can facilitate easier transitions.
Establishing a consistent goodbye ritual provides stability for anxious kids, making the departure smoother for both parties.
Lane helped his daughter transition by enrolling her in half-day classes prior to the full preschool experience. They spent quality time discussing potential activities, packing lunches, and selecting outfits together.
Watch for Signs of Persistent Anxiety
Symptoms of separation anxiety can involve tantrums at drop-off, excessive clinginess, or resistance to sleep alone. These behaviors stem from fears that children may experience harm if separated from their caregivers.
When these symptoms last several weeks, it may be preferable to consult a pediatrician. Fortunately, with understanding and the right support, children can successfully overcome separation anxiety at any age.
