Sitting in a wine bar in Kyiv on a Saturday night, Daria, 34, opens a dating app, scrolls, then puts her phone away. After spending more than a decade in committed relationships, she's been single for a long time. I haven't had a proper date since before the war, she says.
Four years of war have forced Ukrainians to rethink nearly every aspect of daily life. Increasingly, that includes decisions about relationships and parenthood – choices shaping the future of a country in which marriage and birth rates are falling.
Millions of Ukrainian women who left at the start of the 2022 invasion have built lives abroad, while hundreds of thousands of men are either deployed or living outside the country. Those who remain in Ukraine find the prospect of starting a family increasingly remote.
Khrystyna, 28, notes the scarcity of available men in Lviv, struggling to find a partner through dating apps. Many, I would say most, are afraid to go out now, in this situation, she explains, referencing men trying to avoid conscription.
Men on active duty also find it challenging to make long-term commitments. Ruslan, a soldier in the Kharkiv region, expresses uncertainty about what he can offer a partner when he can only promise sporadic visits and brief interaction.
Denys, a drone operator, echoes this sentiment, highlighting the daily risks soldiers face. Promising any long-term plans is difficult, he says, recognizing that each day could be his last.
The war's impact is profoundly felt in marriage and birth statistics, with marriage rates falling sharply from 223,000 in 2022 to 150,000 in 2024. Additionally, birth rates have plummeted, now standing at a record low of 0.9 children per woman, drastically below the 2.1 needed to maintain Ukraine's population.
Dr. Liubov Mykhailyshyn, a fertility specialist, warns that chronic stress and trauma from the war can lead to fertility problems, potentially exacerbating the demographic crisis ahead.
Even those in committed relationships share the burden of uncertainty. Olena, a policewoman, is attempting to freeze her eggs amidst the tumult. Reflecting on her past hopes of starting a family, she acknowledges that plans were derailed by the war.
With more than 6.5 million Ukrainians having emigrated since the conflict escalated, revitalizing the nation's population poses a formidable challenge. Recovery will rely significantly on the return of those who left, yet the prospect remains uncertain.
As Daria puts it, Learning to live with uncertainty is in itself a form of survival. The war reshapes expectations and plans, leaving many feeling isolated in their desires for love and family amid ongoing turmoil.
